Proposed instructions for enhancing the x86_64 instruction set

The x86_64 instruction set (also known as AMD64 or EMT64, depending on whom you ask) meant a huge leap forward for the x86 architecture - Certainly the biggest one since the i586 (Pentium) was introduced, and probably since the i386 brought us virtual memory and 32 bit address space. Still, there is ample room for improvement.
In order to further simplify programmers' lifes, the following additions are proposed:

ARG
Agree to Run Garbage
BDM
Branch and Destroy Memory
CMN
Convert to Mayan Numerals
DDS
Damage Disk and Stop
EMR
Emit Microwave Radiation
ETO
Emulate Toaster Oven
FSE
Fake Serious Error
GSI
Garble Subsequent Instructions
GQS
Go Quarter Speed
HEM
Hide Evidence of Malfunction
IDD
Inhale Dust and Die
IKI
Ignore Keyboard Input
IMU
Irradiate and Mutate User
JPF
Jam Paper Feed
JUM
Jeer at Users Mistake
KFP
Kindle Fire in Printer
LNM
Launch Nuclear Missiles
MAW
Make Aggravating Whine
NNI
Neglect Next Instruction
OBU
Overheat and Burn if Unattended
PNG
Pass Noxious Gas
QWF
Quit Working Forever
QVC
Question Valid Command
RWD
Read Wrong Device
SCE
Simulate Correct Execution
SDJ
Send Data to Japan
TTC
Tangle Tape and Crash
UBC
Use Bad Chip
VDP
Violate Design Parameters
VMB
Verify and Make Bad
WAF
Warn After Fact
XID
eXchange Instruction with Data
YII
Yield to Irresistible Impulse
ZAM
Zero All Memory
PI
Punch Invalid
POPI
Punch Operator Immediately
RASC
Read And Shred Card
RPM
Read Programmers Mind
RSSC
Reduce Speed, Step Carefully
RTAB
Rewind Tape and Break
RWDSK
ReWind DiSK
SPSW
Scramble Program Status Word
SRSD
Seek Record and Scar Disk
WBT
Water Binary Tree
DWIM
Do What I Mean